Emergency of Puppy Proportions
by DryadSpeaks
Summary: Spinoff of All My Dreams chapter 126 and The Smile on Your Face chapter 108.  Some puppy problems, some talking, and some good old fashioned Quartie fluff!


"What are you doing in my room at 8 in the morning?" Artie asked Quinn, who was sitting on the end his bed, grinning at him. "Not that I'm not glad to see you…but you're never awake this early when you don't have somewhere to be!"

She laughed. "I did have somewhere to be…here. And I figured you'd be up…you always get up early!"

"And when I don't have anywhere to be, sometimes I go back to bed!" Artie said, partially covering his face with a pillow. "Today…I had nowhere to be. And went back to bed. Obviously. Have you been taking lessons from AJ?"

"Are you decent under that quilt?" Quinn asked, going around to the other side of the bed. "Is there any chance your mom might walk in and be scandalized if I crawled in there with you?"

"She's not home. She took Linds and Michael…" he trailed off. "Wait. Who let you in?"

"Your dad," she said, sliding in beside him. "He said he thought you were awake."

"I am now," Artie grumbled, half-serious. He turned a bit, so he was facing her. "What can you offer me to make me forget that you just woke me up from my peaceful slumber?"

She slowly moved her hand over, intending to lay it across his chest, when it hit something warm and furry.

"Is that Daisy?" she asked, lifting back the covers and peeking underneath. "She's sleeping under the covers with you now? What if she has an accident?"

"She's had 0 bed accidents, thank you very much," he said, reaching out and petting her. "Her brother, on the other hand…"

Quinn giggled, petting the puppy. "Does she usually sleep under there?" she asked.

He shook his head. "This is the first time. I don't think she's feeling well…she threw up yesterday, and she's just been looking sad. I was kind of thinking I might see if I can get her to the vet today, and take along Sir Pees a Lot, just to make sure that he doesn't have some structural problem that's making it impossible for him to control his bladder."

"I could go with you," she said. "I brought a movie, but other than that I didn't actually have anything planned…I just thought maybe we could spend the day together…if you don't have anything to do. I figured if you did, you would have mentioned it."

"It's…Tuesday," he said. "So no. Nothing planned, other than going to the vet. What movie did you bring?"

"_Up_," Quinn said. "I was going to save it for when it's my turn to plan our epic date, but then realized that I might as well just bring it now, and plan something…more epic for that."

Artie grinned, as he looked at her. Spending the day with her was definitely worth being woken up for.

"I think I should phone the vet at 9," he said. "To see if we can go today. Is that ok?"

She nodded. "She really doesn't look good," she said. "She hasn't wagged her tail or anything. And she usually gets so excited when I come over! Should we try and get her up, and see what happens?"

Artie gently placed his hand under the puppy, lifting her up so she was standing. She whined when he put his hand under her, and just stared at him.

"Maybe I should see if they open before 9," he said. "Or…maybe I should phone their emergency number. Something is definitely wrong."

Quinn was about to say something, when she looked down at the sheet where Daisy had been sleeping.

"I think she peed a bit of blood in her sleep," she said. "There's just a tiny spot, but it's right where she was lying."

"That's it," Artie said, carefully removing the covers, turning himself, and propping himself up on his elbows. "I'm going to throw on some clothes, and we're going now. Can you phone the vet and see if that's ok? The number is on the fridge."

Quinn nodded. "Do you want me to take Daisy with me?" she asked. "I could take her outside and see if she'll do anything."

"If she's peeing blood they might need a urine sample," Artie said. "I…don't know how we could collect one. Do you think she'd stop peeing if we held a little container under her? Do we even have something small enough that she won't be sitting in it?"

She thought it was slightly odd that the first place his mind went was to collecting a urine sample, but she did agree with him, after thinking about it. It made total sense.

"What about a little tray or something?" she asked, as he transferred himself to his chair. "Maybe I can get her to pee in that."

"I HAVE to have something in the bathroom for this," he said, once he'd arranged his legs. "Let me go see if I can find anything appropriate for this."

He returned a minute or so later, with a small container. "Try this," he said. "It should be little enough that it will work, but big enough that it'll hold something."

"Ok," Quinn said, taking it from him.

"…did I seriously just ask you to collect a pee sample from my dog?" he asked. "Sorry, that's a little…weird. Here, I'll come do it."

"It's fine," Quinn said, gently picking up the puppy, who nuzzled softly into her neck. "Daisy and I've got the situation under control. You get ready. Where's Jakie?"

"He's in the bathroom," Artie said. "I just let him out of the cage. Mom stuck it in there so I could quickly grab him and take him out when I got up…" he trailed off. "Oh my God. Jakie!" he said, turning to go after the puppy, who had, in two seconds, somehow managed to open a cabinet and pull out a catheter, and was dragging it out into the bedroom as quickly as he could.

He quickly grabbed the offending item, before Quinn could see it, and threw it as hard as he could back into the bathroom. There were probably teeth holes in the package anyway, he figured, so he'd have to throw it out. Which meant it didn't really matter that it had just landed in the toilet.

Quinn, noticing that he was clearly uncomfortable by what the puppy had brought out of the bathroom, switched Daisy from one arm to the other, and announced that they were going to go outside and try and see what they could accomplish.

* * *

><p>"I'm really glad they could fit us in right away," Artie said, as they packed the dogs into the car. "Do you have the sample?"<p>

Quinn nodded, holding up the small container, which she'd put in a small plastic bag. "I couldn't believe how easy that was," she said. "Are you training her to pee on command?"

He shook his head. "No, but she always really has to go in the morning. Speaking of that…can you remind me to throw my sheet in the washer when we get back?" he asked. "I hope they don't have to keep her there."

"It'll be ok," Quinn said. "They'll be able to fix her up. Don't worry."

"She's just so tiny," he said. "And she'd be scared."

"I know, but it'll be ok," Quinn repeated.

"I told Dad what was going on before we left," he said, as they headed towards the clinic. "He said to tell them to do whatever they have to, and he'll stop by later to pay the bill," he said. "The fact that he said they should do whatever they have to made me kind of nervous…"

"He probably meant shots and stuff, or if she needs antibiotics," Quinn said. "Nothing to get nervous about. She probably has the puppy equivalent of the flu or something."

"Woman, this is an emergency of puppy proportions," he said. "It's a serious matter!"

"I know," she said, biting back the grin that threatened to spread across her face at his choice of words. "But don't worry, everything will be fine!"

* * *

><p>"So, they both had a check-up and their shots," Artie explained to Beth and Linds, while Linds and Quinn played with Jakie on the living room floor. "And Daisy has a bladder infection…and Jakie has nothing, except for the fact that he can't control his. But Dr. Brown said that he would probably grow into that soon."<p>

"What's wrong with Daisy?" Linds asked Quinn, having missed part of what Artie said, as she played with Jakie.

"She has a bladder infection," Quinn said. "So they gave her some antibiotics, and she's going to be fine in a few days."

"Oh," Linds said. "Artie gets those sometimes. And sometimes he has to go to the hospital."

"Linds," Artie said, his cheeks flushing, as he looked everywhere but at Quinn. "Don't you have to…take Jakie out, before he pees?" he asked.

"Oh, right," she said, jumping up, grabbing the puppy, and running towards the back door. Before she got there, cries of, "Mom, cleanup on my shirt," were heard from the kitchen.

"I'd better go see to that," Beth said, getting up. "I really hope he masters that soon. We've spent half of someone's college fund on laundry soap and cleaners since that puppy arrived," she added, grinning.

Once she was gone, Artie turned to Quinn, who was slowly stroking Daisy, as she slept on the couch cushion between them.

"Sorry about Linds," he muttered. "You totally did not need to know that."

"Hey," Quinn said, reaching out for his hand. "No need to be sorry. You know that."

"Is that one of the things you Googled?" Artie asked, looking down at his lap. "Or…one of the things that came up when you were Googling?"

"Artie," Quinn said, as she watched him try to avoid her eyes. "No need to be embarrassed either. About anything. Which you also know."

"Sometimes I curse the invention of Google," he muttered. "It was so much easier before you could just punch something into the computer! If you had had to go to a library, and search through reference books to find all that info…you probably wouldn't have, and I could continue to live in the little bubble I'd created where things were on a need to know basis."

"Actually," Quinn said, quietly. "I would have. And if we're on a need to know basis…don't you think I need to know? Or is this one of those things where, if you tell me, you have to kill me?" she asked, grinning at him.

His eyes finally met her, and he couldn't help but grin at her statement. "Well, almost," he said. "I might die myself if I tell you some things…" he trailed off. "Which is why it's better for both of us if I don't!"

"Artie," Quinn tried again. "You know I don't want you to be uncomfortable. But wouldn't you be LESS uncomfortable, if you knew that I knew about that stuff? That way you wouldn't have to keep thinking about what my reaction might be if you tell me, or if I find out accidentally. Which, let's face it…bound to happen sooner or later. And just so you know…I have ways of making you talk."

"Not while my mom and Linds are here!" he whispered. "I've told you this before. You can't take advantage of me when there's a chance they might see!"

Quinn grinned, leaning over and kissing him. "You always ruin my fun," she said, a mock look of disappointment on her face.

"Sorry," he said. He tried to act like his mind wasn't racing a mile a minute, but he was wondering if his façade was actually as good as he thought it was. He knew he should probably just tell her, because Linds had already started that conversation for him, albeit unintentionally.

"I…guess we could talk about that," he said, finally. "I'll just try not to die of embarrassment."

"Good," Quinn said. "Because I kind of like having you around."

He smiled at her. "I kind of like having you around, too," he said. "Which is why I don't want to talk about all this stuff. Some of it is a little…I just don't want to make you uncomfortable," he finished, softly.

"You won't," Quinn said, giving him an encouraging smile. "Seriously, Artie. You know none of that stuff matters to me. Or…I mean…obviously it matters, but not in any kind of bad way. It only matters because I want you to feel like you can talk about stuff like that with me, and I want you to be healthy."

He honestly couldn't believe that he was sitting in his living room, about to discuss the workings of his bladder with his girlfriend. He'd always known that eventually he would have to share information like that with someone, and that thought had always terrified him. But…there he was, and there was nothing he could do about it without causing some sort of scene.

"Well," he muttered, "because of my injury, my…I can't…my bladder needs a little help taking care of business," he said, finally, after realizing that he was going to have to use the word "bladder" eventually. "So I have to use a catheter to help with that. As I'm sure you saw when Jakie dragged that one out of the bathroom this morning. But…not the kind that always stays in there," he went on. "I just have to self-cath every few hours, and make sure I drink enough and keep everything in top working condition. And I can't believe I'm sitting here talking about this," he finished. "Seriously. I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure this was not how you saw this day shaping up when you showed up in my room this morning."

"Hey," she said, moving over into the space Daisy had vacated, when she crawled up into Artie's lap. "You're right. This isn't how I saw this day shaping up. But that's not a bad thing. What is it your mom says? Variety, spice of life, stuff like that?"

Artie grinned. "Something like that," he said. "But still…this is the most unromantic conversation ever."

"Not all conversations have to be romantic," Quinn said. "Sometimes we have to talk about other stuff, too."

He nodded. "So," he said. "I'm just going to go back to that, and finish it off as quickly as possible, so we never have to discuss it again. And then I'm going to forget we ever had this conversation," he added.

Quinn giggled. "Artie, it's not THAT bad. Or even bad at all," she said. "If I have to tell you one more time there's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm just going to get that tattooed on my forehead," she added.

"No," he said, his eyes widening in what he hoped looked a bit like shock. "Please. NOT YOUR FOREHEAD! OR YOUR GUMDROP BUTTONS!"

Quinn giggled again. "Now," she said. "You were saying?"

"Oh," he said. "I was just going to add that that's why I get infections sometimes. It's easy for bacteria and stuff to hitch a ride on those things, even though I'm super careful and make sure everything is totally sterile. But I haven't had one for a while," he said. "So, no need to worry."

Quinn thought about saying something about famous last words, before deciding that he really didn't need that. And he was probably thinking it himself, judging from the expression on his face.

"So…now that we're done with that…" Artie trailed off. "And you haven't left…I take this to be a good sign."

Quinn grinned. "Pretty sure there's nothing you could say with regards to anything like that that would make me leave," she said, softly. "Because I'm so in love with you, and none of that could ever change that."

He stared at her for a second, as she inched her way closer. "Good to know," he whispered, as her lips approached his. "Because I'm so in love with you, and telling you that wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. And that has to mean something."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you've never seen <em>Up<em>," Quinn said, as she popped the DVD into the DVD player. "I know Linds is obsessed with Disney…I'm surprised you don't have it around here somewhere," she added, walking back over to the couch.

"I don't know why we don't," he said. "I'm pretty sure we have every other Disney movie ever made."

Quinn grinned, as the opening credits started to roll. She leaned up against Artie, who moved his arm around her, the other occupied by a softly snoring puppy.

Shortly after the movie had started, she heard what sounded like a sniffle coming from Artie's direction.

"Are you getting sick?" she asked, glancing up at him.

"Um…yes," he said, hurrying to wipe away the tear that was sliding down his cheek. "I'm getting sick. My nose is all plugged."

"Artie…are you crying?" Quinn asked, a slightly amused look on her face.

"No," he said, quickly. "It's my allergies."

"Right," Quinn said. "Your allergies."

"It's true," he said. "Do you doubt my allergies, woman?"

"Generally no," she said. "But this time…yes."

"Fine," he muttered. "I might have teared up a little. It's just so sad! Poor Carl. I just want to hug him, or something."

"You're so adorable," Quinn said. "Have I told you that yet today?"

"Um…not today," Artie said. "I would definitely have remembered. Especially after the conversation we had earlier."

"Well, you are," she said. "Just so you know."

He grinned. Resting his cheek on the top of her head. "You're not bad yourself," he said, quietly. "And you totally brought this just to de-man me, didn't you?"

"Yes," she said. "That was my master plan. Watch _Up_ with you to 'de-man' you. Whatever THAT means."

"How many more times am I going to cry before the end of this?" he asked. "Just so I know if I need to go get a box of Kleenex, or if the…one I have in my pocket will be good enough."

"Um…" Quinn trailed off. "Maybe I should go get some more. For both of us."

After she'd pressed pause, Quinn ran off in the general direction of the bathroom.

Artie turned to Daisy, who was awake, and wagged her tail when he looked at her. "Thanks," he whispered to her. "You made this whole talking about stuff a lot easier."

He grinned, as the puppy wagged her tail again, put her paws on his chest, and licked his nose. Whoever said that puppies were the cure for everything was definitely right, he mused. He was glad that he'd talked for a bit with Quinn.

It was like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. Too bad there were several more there, weighing him down. But those could wait for another day.

**A/N: I don't think it's possible for me to have used variations of the word "pee" any more times in this fic.**

**And yes, for those of you that read everything…this is part of the series of fics in which Artie talks about stuff. I've had several requests for more of these sorts of things, so here we are!**

**Hope you enjoyed! Corresponds with chapter 126 of **_**All My Dreams**_**, and chapter 108 of**_** The Smile on Your Face.**_


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